


Only Time

by quietrook



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, no magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietrook/pseuds/quietrook
Summary: Soulmate au - Shared dreams with your soulmate.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 11
Kudos: 162
Collections: TRC Spring Fling





	Only Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rozurashii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rozurashii/gifts).



Adam opened his eyes and found himself standing, alone, in a dense forest. This was how he knew he was dreaming; he had so often found himself in this impossible, familiar landscape of foreign animal calls and alien flora, though less now than in past years. This was the forest in which Adam met his soulmate in shared dreams.

Soulmate always felt like such a strong word to refer to someone you'd never met in the waking world, but Adam's cynicism was irrelevant because soulmates were a fact of life, like gravity or rain or insomnia. Growing up, he had heard the same stories as everyone else: so-and-so historical figures were soulmates, such-and-such lived alone until death because he never found his soulmate, and so on. Adam couldn't deny it was true, but he knew from experience that just because two people were soulmates, it didn't really mean anything. His parents were, and they absolutely hated each other. Adam had grown up listening to them throw arguments back and forth, using their shared dreams as insults, had heard his father say that no one else could possibly ever want his mother.

Soulmates did not guarantee you liked each other, and it was still hard work. It turned out there was no such thing as an easy relationship.

Adam had never seen his in real life, and it had been almost longer than he could remember since he had seen his soulmate, really seen him or talked to him, in dreams. Sometimes he caught glimpses between the trees, but that was rare in and of itself; when Adam did see him, his soulmate fled or disappeared entirely. It seemed like they were on different schedules - Adam, when he slept, had only normal stress dreams, a sure sign his soulmate wasn't sleeping when he was. Of course, with his school and work schedule, Adam could have been the one sleeping odd hours. He knew it was likely; he never slept when he should, and never long enough. But now he was in the forest. That meant, then, that his soulmate must be, too.

Every one of Adam’s senses was alert, glancing around as he walked through the thick trees, listening for movement. The air was hazy, a colored mist that seemed to change even as Adam passed through it. This time, he was determined to find his soulmate and catch up to him even if he ran. He was going to demand answers this time. He was done with being avoided.

The soft sound of footsteps on leaves permeated the air, and Adam quickly turned around. He was immediately struck by how different the boy in front of him was from the boy he had grown up seeing every night. Ronan had always been sharp edges and points, and that was truer now than ever; it seemed like the softness had been sucked out and replaced with more corners to run into. He carried himself differently, too, arms crossed in front of him in a way that made him seem extremely… vulnerable. Of course, the biggest difference was that the dark curls Adam had been familiar with since childhood were gone; Ronan’s head was shaved, covered in just a thin layer of dark hair. It somehow seemed to suit Ronan more than the long hair ever had.

“Hey,” Adam said quietly. He stuck his hands into his pockets, remembering once, when they had been laying in the grass in a clearing somewhere, how his hands had brushed Ronan’s head on accident. The hair had been soft; he wondered if it was soft, still.

“Hay’s for horses,” Ronan replied, made a face like he couldn’t believe he just said that, and then eventually half-grinned. “Been a while. Finally sleeping?”

“Don’t be like that. Why do you keep hiding from me?” If Ronan was going to pretend he wasn’t avoiding him, Adam was going to wake himself up if he could. He hadn’t spent months trying to sleep when they normally met just to be shrugged off. 

“I wasn’t hiding,” Ronan said defensively, looking away.

“Running away, then, whatever.”

Ronan stared at the ground, eyebrows knit together. He picked at the same, familiar leather bracelets around his wrist. Adam hadn’t realized how much of Ronan’s presence in his dreams had become comforting until he was gone; the details came back easily, fit into his memory like a puzzle. Adam stared at the taller boy, determined to wait for an answer.

“I’ve been dealing with some stuff,” Ronan finally said, his tone indicating very clearly that he didn’t want to talk about it any further.

Adam hesitated. He wanted to ask if Ronan was okay, but in the months he hadn’t seen him (months in which they had both obviously changed a little) made him unsure of where they stood. He remembered less than a year ago when they were exchanging glances that he knew had meant something, when they were letting their hands drift closer and closer as they walked through their forest. Adam had known since he was thirteen how he felt about Ronan, but he had waited until he was sixteen to outgrow his nerves and lose some of his subtlety. He had never found out what would happen if that gap were finally closed before the time and sleepless nights had separated them. Now he wasn’t sure what the boundaries were.

While Adam had been quietly thinking, Ronan, who must have been used to this by now, had sat down on the grass. An odd light that felt like neither sun nor moon filtered down through the leaves, shining in patterns on Ronan’s skin. He was beautiful, as he had always been. Just sadder, full of less light.

Adam, overcome with emotion, decided that maybe it was fine if he took his place next to Ronan, like he would have easily a year ago. He quietly folded his legs under him, keeping his face as neutral as possible, worried he would set Ronan on edge. It was part of what made him realize how much might have changed; this was a Ronan he couldn’t predict as well, and he was worried about it. He stared quietly at the trees. Maybe it was nice to just sit, still for a moment, try to get a hold on this newer Ronan. Remember what it was like to be around him.

“I haven’t really been thinking about it,” Ronan finally said, pulling strands of grass out of the ground. He was building a small pile in his lap, green on black denim. “The stuff I’ve been dealing with, I mean.”

“That’s not really dealing with it, then, is it?” 

“Yeah, no shit.” With a short sigh, Ronan let himself fall back onto the grass. “I didn’t want to talk about it, but I thought if I came here all sad or fucked up and stuff that you would ask me about it. So I didn’t come.”

“That’s because you’re stupid,” Adam pointed out, turning to look at Ronan. “I’ve always given you space when you needed it.”

“Yeah. I know. I’m sorry.” He glanced at Adam, his expression almost uncertain. Like he was nervous. “I missed you, if it helps.”

“Maybe a little, but you’re still an idiot,” Adam replied, leaning back on his hands. After a pause, he added, “I missed you, too.”

This Ronan wasn’t so different after all, Adam decided. Something big had clearly happened, but he wasn’t going to pry. Not right now, anyway. He let his hand drift closer to Ronan’s in the grass, asking the question. Ronan said nothing, but his pinky touching and then curling around Adam’s spoke louder than words. 

They lay there together quietly for a long while. Time was something that was always hard to quantify in dreams in any term other than “forever” or “not at all”, but when Adam woke up the next morning, he felt that it was very distinctly in the middle as “not nearly enough”. Time spent with Ronan in dreams alone was never going to be enough.

-

Nino's was crowded at 4 on a Tuesday, of course. The pizza place was filled to the brim with students from Aglionby, the private boarding school for boys. They swarmed like a murder on the small business after school, trickling in later as extracurriculars ended. Adam resented their inexhaustible free time and money that they could waste on avocado-and-anchovy pizzas. He came here only because his best friend Blue worked here, and he was allowed to sip sprite and work on school assignments at the counter. He normally listened to music while he worked, but his father had broken his cheap, outdated iPod (which had been Blue's, anyway, but she wouldn't let him apologize). Sound filtered through his ears, making it hard to concentrate.

Snatches of conversations interrupted the process of outlining his English essay. Boys ordering pizzas, talking about clubs, television shows, the weekend they had had or would have in a few days, Welsh kings… wait, what? Adam turned halfway, looking for the person who had said that last thing. Welsh kings? The speaker was already walking away, another raven boy with a short, elegant haircut and pristine clothes, but Adam's eyes followed. It wasn't because of what he had said - who knew what sort of fancy history classes Aglionby had - but because of the boy's companion. His uniform was unkempt, in a sort of disarray that Adam wasn't used to seeing from raven boys. He was tall, taller than his friend, and his rolled up sleeves revealed leather bracelets. A shaved head and, surprisingly, the dark, sharp edges of a tattoo.

"Ronan," Adam said, a little alarmed, but the two of them were already walking away, laughing about something. An unfamiliar feeling crawled up his throat - shock? Nerves? Excitement? All of the above, maybe, because it was Ronan.

He cleared his throat, swinging his legs out from under the counter to stand up. His feet had barely touched ground when, hands cupped around his mouth, Adam yelled, "Ronan!" 

His soulmate, taller somehow in real life than in dreams, glanced up, expression changing from annoyance to disbelief to a sharp, teeth-filled grin. His friend looked between the two of them, surprise on his perfectly symmetrical features. Adam didn't know what to do, now; he hadn't thought it this far through. He stood, uncertain, as he wondered what to do. He had asked the question.

Just as before, Ronan was the answer. He was already clambering out of the booth and heading over to Adam; their hands found each other immediately, pinkies curling around each other. 

"Been a while," Adam finally said, grinning. "Done sleeping?"

"I'm never going to sleep again," Ronan replied.


End file.
